New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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