the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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