I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Semen is not good for contacts.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
