My pussy is not your playground.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't turn off my feet"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had to cum in my sink.
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