Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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