I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
