I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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