Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
