you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
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I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises