Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
