this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
