he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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