I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
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