Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
