Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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