Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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