Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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