Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
