I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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