I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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