how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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