Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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