Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
