Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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