Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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