If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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