I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He has the fingertips of a God
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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