I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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