When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
