Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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