a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
