Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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