i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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