Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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