jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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