just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
