can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
