i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it's like iHOP with fire
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
