careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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