She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
