She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
