btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
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He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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