How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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