I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
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Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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