It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize