no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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