party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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