Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
