How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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