I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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