I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
