I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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