Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
