Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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