we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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