I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
