well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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