I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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