Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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