if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
