I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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