He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
