So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
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I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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