That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
