her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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