About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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