Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
