i don't like sucking hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
