Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
